Handling The Bully


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Sometimes the voice of the inner bully is deafening. It screams so loud that I can’t hear myself think, let alone receive the creative inspiration I need when I’m writing. On those days I take my inner artist by the hand, walk her to our writing desk, and stand behind her as she gets started.

I have your back, I tell her.
Don’t worry.
Just write.

I’m getting pretty good at handling the critics that live in my head. Sometimes I simply let them have their say. I sit on the floor in my office while they drone on and on about how I’m a good writer, but not great, and I do my nails until they get tired. Other times I go to my computer, open my journal, and type everything they say until they notice that I’m merely taking notes, not taking it in, and they quiet down.

The best tactic of all is when I call a fellow artist and spill the beans about what’s going on. I tell her what my inner critic is saying so I can hear her tell me that she has the same voices squawking in her head, too. We laugh and cry, coach and console each other, and then we both get back to work.

For years I tried to silence the inner critics by fighting them tooth and nail. But with every battle they just got stronger, meaner, and more skillful at getting in the way.

So I gave up the fight. I surrendered to the reality that anything worth doing is going to rouse critics (both inner and outer, by the way), and since I’m only interested in doing worthy things, I’d have to learn how to live with them.

And now I do. When the artist in me is being suffocated by the voices of doom, I gently whisper in her ear…
Trust yourself.
Keep going.
The groove you’re looking for is just around the corner.

Fortunately, she listens. Because in the end, that’s all we really need – a loving friend to host our fear until it feels seen and heard and ready to dissolve. And it will. The power of creativity is too strong to be held hostage.

A committee of critics will always be on the attendee list of any significant creative event. Just make sure you invite way more friends.

Cheryl Richardson is a NYT bestselling author of many books, including her most recent Waking Up In Winter: In Search of What Really Matters at Midlife. Treat yourself and join Cheryl for a daylong workshop about practicing extreme self-care at midlife at Circles of Wisdom in Methuen, MA, Sunday Feb 24. www.circlesofwisdom.com.

See also:
Automatic Brain: The Magic Of The Unconscious Mind
Self-Esteem Might Boost Our Egos, But Self-Compassion Opens Our Hearts

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Daily Astrology

February 19, 2019

Excitement and motivation are intense. As the Sun dives more deeply into Pisces, the visionary Sign of the Fishes, the Moon gets busy. Luna starts the day in regal Leo. By late morning she’s in diligent Virgo and exactly Full. Mental Mercury is conjunct…
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February 2019

Celebrating The Love And Valentine’s Week! Come detox, relax and get your romance or couples readings while you recharge in our sanctuary! We have a fun line up of readers and healers...

Cost: 3 service special - $60, single service- $25

Where:
The Healing Power of Flowers - Heaven and Earth
68 Stiles Rd
Unit A
Salem, NH  03079
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Sponsor: The Healing Power of Flowers - Heaven and Earth
Telephone: 603-275-7688
Contact Name: Stacey Smith
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Our outer world is a reflection of what lies within our collective inner worlds. By directing our thoughts in specific, positive ways, we have the potential to guide the world towards becoming a...

Cost: Free

Where:
Inner Space Meditation Center & Gallery
1110 Massachusetts Ave.
Cambridge, MA  02138
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Telephone: 617-547-1110
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Three weekly workshops with Ayal will be offered on February 10, 17, 24 from 10:30 to 11:30am In this meeting, we will talk about sleep and remind or teach simple techniques for an easier...

Cost: $20

Where:
Sohum Yoga and Meditation Studio
30 Lyman Street, Suite 108B
Westborough shopping center
Westborough, MA  01581
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Sponsor: www.SOHUM.org
Telephone: 508-329-3338
Contact Name: Ritu Kapur
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MBSR: Mindful Based Stress Reduction Learn how to tap into your inner well of strength, peace, and ease. Mindfulness, as taught in the MBSR program, is recognized worldwide as the gold...

Cost: Free

Where:
Enlightened Interventions
25 Union St.
Worcester, MA  01608
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Sponsor: The Center for Resilient Living
Telephone: 508-556-7022
Contact Name: Ginny Wholley
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Wednesday, February 20th–Saturday, February 23rd 9am-3pm each day Experience transformation guided by Mother Mary. Through Divine vibration, you will be aligned for quicker healing and...

Cost: $500

Where:
, MA


Sponsor: The LoveLight Center
Telephone: (207) 216-9584
Contact Name: Cheryl Banfield

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Discover how you can release tight muscles and improve range of motion in locked joints in a weekly ESSENTRICS stretch classes led by Raindrop Fisher, certified Essentrics instructor. Raindrop is a...

Cost: $10 drop-in / $100 for 12 classes

Where:
Village at Waterman Lake
Function Room - Chalet Bldg
715 Putnam Pike
Greenville, RI  02828
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Sponsor: Healthier Fit Lifestyle
Telephone: 401-678-0950
Contact Name: Raindrop Fisher
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ESSENTRICS with Raindrop is a dynamic, one-hour, slow-movement stretch and strengthening class that uses all the muscles of the body to liberate stiff joints and rebalancing the body so that you...

Cost: $5 donation

Where:
Pascoag Public Library
57 Church Street
Pascoag, RI  02859
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Sponsor: Healthier Fit Lifestyle
Telephone: 401-678-0950
Contact Name: Raindrop Fisher
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This 8 week series in Tai Chi will provide you with everything you need to get started in a personal Tai Chi practice. Just for Beginners—there is no expectation, and no pressure in...

Cost: $137 for 8 weeks

Where:
Spiral Path Connections
218 Boston Street
Unit 104
Topsfield, MA  01983
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Sponsor: The Spiral Path
Telephone: 978-314-4264
Contact Name: Johanna Hattendorf
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With Sherri Snyder-Roche. This yoga workshop will explore self-compassion, self-love and pushing through discomfort to help your recovery process. Recovery from divorce, eating disorders,...

Cost: $95 for 6 weeks or $17 drop in

Where:
State of Grace Yoga and Wellness Center
104 E. Hartford Avenue, Unit A
Uxbridge, MA  01569
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Telephone: 508-278-2818
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“Master your breath, let the self be in bliss, contemplate on the sublime within you.” —Krishnamacharya Join us for an evening of deep exploration and transformation using the...

Cost: $30 (some hardship rates available)

Where:
Spontaneous Celebrations
45 Danforth Street
Jamaica Plain, MA  02130
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Telephone: 617-233-6410
Contact Name: Allen Howell, M.Ed.LMHC
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Great readings at a great rate - only $20 for 15 minutes. Join us for a great day with lots of specials too! Featuring Amit’s Tibetan Singing Bowls and Silver Jewelry Sale!...

Cost: $20 for a 15 minute reading

Where:
Circles of Wisdom
386 Merrimack Street
Suite 1-A
Methuen, MA  01844
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Sponsor: Circles of Wisdom
Telephone: 978-474-8010
Contact Name: Cathy Kneeland
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This workshop will be a wonderful and interactive experience for parents and their child. You will:  1. Learn the importance of developing focus through basic mindfulness exercises....

Cost: $40

Where:
Sohum Yoga and Meditation Studio
30 Lyman Street, Suite 108B
Westborough shopping center
Westborough, MA  01581
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Sponsor: www.SOHUM.org
Telephone: 508-329-3338
Contact Name: Ritu Kapur
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Join us as we herald in the month of love with the archangels! It will be an evening of healing and soul replenishment. Our event will open with a brief message of love and support from the...

Cost: $40

Where:
private office
North Andover, MA  01845


Sponsor: Diana Harris
Telephone: 978-973-6637
Contact Name: Diana Harris
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6 Saturdays 10am–11:30am February 23–March 30, 2019 Taijiquan (Tai Chi ) is a healing martial art, using breath and movement together to strengthen the body and quiet...

Cost: $120

Where:
Metta Wellness
679 Pleasant Street
Paxton, MA  01612
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Sponsor: Metta Wellness
Telephone: 774-245-5487
Contact Name: Rick Rocha
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