Seeds of Change —Transitions in Mothering
My garden continues to reflect the changes in my life and I take great pleasure in my new freedom.
My husband has been after me to do something with the seeds in our catchall drawer. “I’m going to plant them in the spring,” has been my response for the last few years. But springs have come and gone and the only growth that appears to be happening is that of the size of the pile of seeds in the drawer.
I have an affection for gardening. I even dried these seeds myself. Hence, my lack of follow through with planting is a sign of change for me. It is a hint that I have outgrown this activity — outgrown it because it doesn’t fit who I am anymore.
In order to be sure that something no longer fits who I am, I have to try it on at least one last time. So this past year I planted some seeds. I have always tended to seeds with the caring heart of a new mother, but this time it felt more like a chore. My heart wasn’t in it.
My life has changed dramatically over the past few years. My youngest graduated from college and the older two have married. These changes had an affect on all aspects of my maternal nature.
My affection for gardening has not diminished, but adopting from the nursery has been more appealing during my transition out of motherhood. Tending to plants that others have lovingly germinated brings me joy now. I take great pleasure in my new freedom.
So what about the seeds in my drawer — the physical remnants of my motherhood? They are truly seeds of change. My lessons from motherhood are within me. The joy of their memories remains deep within my heart.
It is easy to picture myself without young children of my own these days, but gardenless? My garden continues to reflect the changes in my life, and the joy of planting seeds could return with the coming of grandchildren. But for now giving the job to someone who enjoys it as much as I used to makes the most sense.
I revere my relationships with everything in my life, including the seeds in my drawer, so when something stops bringing me joy it deserves some reflection. Sometimes a relationship is ready to be redefined or changed in some way and sometimes it is time for the activity to be passed along to someone new or for the activity to be retired.
Just tossing something so poignant into the trash seemed disrespectful. But celebrating the closure of my germinating days with gratitude and a little ritual would honor my liberation and express my appreciation for Mother Nature’s role in my life.
The woods near our home provided the perfect environment for returning the aging seeds to their Great Mother. I expressed my gratitude for all the healing, rejuvenating and growth those germinating days had provided. Mother Nature had, indeed, been by my side for the entire journey, even during times when I was unaware of her presence.
I look forward to discovering new ways of connecting, enjoying and seeking her counsel. My future adventures are likely to provide us with lots of new material.
Reprinted from Why Me? Why Now? Why Not? Finding Opportunity in Your Obstacles by Trish Whynot. ©2012 Patricia Whynot. Reprinted with permission from the author.
Trish Whynot, D.C.Ed, is a holistic counselor, Doctor of Core Education, writer and speaker with a private counseling practice in Pittsfield, NH. She enjoys the outdoors, photography and the seasons with her family, friends and pets. Visit www.TrishWhynot.com or call (978) 314-4545 for more information.