Giving Yourself And Others Room To Grow


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There is one essential ingredient missing in most of our relationships — one that is definitely required if we wish to continue in our own development and help others to do the same. What is this powerful catalyst that only we can provide for each other? Room in which to grow.

We can help others reach higher by simply agreeing, consciously, to give them space to go through their changes even when these changes may challenge our sense of self and its well-being. As just one simple example of how to help in this way, we must each learn to keep ourselves quiet when the actions of someone close to us start to disturb us. Why is this new kind of self-silence so important for the growth of both parties involved?

To begin with, the disturbance that we feel in these moments is caused by a tremor in us. This is to say that our shaky sense of self is an effect of some picture we have held of this person as it hits the ground and shatters. Apart from our children, whom we must guide through their developing years, we need to learn to leave people alone with their decisions and corresponding actions. There is already a truth, a wisdom that supports this conscious course of action.

We already understand that no action of ours ever goes without its commensurate reward. This eternal principle is best known as karma, the great, inescapable law of cause and effect. This means it is our own nature—as the backstage parent of what prods us along in life—that determines what we experience as our life. So too is it with our family and friends… each receives what he or she is—no more, no less. This truth tells us why we must not only give them room to make the choices that they will, but then leave them alone to realize and experience the unique results of being who they are. How else can they learn and grow beyond themselves?

Understanding these truths mandates that we back off from being secretly on everyone’s back, that we give them the inner room they need to grow and discover themselves. The difficulty here is that in order to give others this space they need, we must first make room within ourselves. To state this same idea differently, we must remove ourselves from our habitual inner places of judgments, opinions, and knowing better than anyone else. We have always called this place that must be left behind our “self.” This conscious sacrifice of self—of who we conceive ourselves to be for the sake of who our friend or loved one is yet to be—gives new meaning to the beautiful ideal of “laying our life down for our brother.” This is how we help others to help themselves go higher… by daring to grow beyond ourselves.

Guy Finley is the best-selling author of more than 40 books and audio albums on self- realization, including The Secret of Letting Go and The Essential Laws of Fearless Living. He is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for spiritual discovery in southern Oregon. For more information please visit www.guyfinley.org or call 541-476-1200.

See also:
The Four Insights: The Way Of The Hero
Five Science-Backed Strategies To Build Resilience

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May 26, 2019

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May 2019

Sunday afternoon: 3–4:30pm at Hillside Herbals Healing herbs for women's health part I: tonic herbs for hormonal balance—normal cycling and aging. Rachel has created a 10...

Cost: Drop in Fee $10 includes all materials and handouts.

Where:
Hillside Herbals
Jefferson, MA


Sponsor: Hillside Herbals
Telephone: 508-847-8615
Contact Name: Rachel Ross
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Sunday Reiki treatments with Reiki master and practitioner Linda Simons in Brookline, MA. Start your week off on a more balanced note with a Reiki treatment on a Sunday afternoon. Please join me...

Cost: Sliding Scale $25-45

Where:
233 Harvard Street
Suite 36
Brookline, MA  02446
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Telephone: 617-304-2205
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Cost: $ 20 includes material, pre-reg required

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Brookside Farms
8 Mammoth Rd
Sute #A
Pelham, NH  03076
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Sponsor: The Healing Power of Flowers - Heaven and Earth
Telephone: 603-275-7688
Contact Name: Stacey Smith
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Cost: $20 per class

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Creative Spirit
80 Washington Street
Marblehead, MA  01945
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Telephone: 781-797-0389
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Point of Pines
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Sponsor: Eat to Thrive
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Worcester, MA  01604


Telephone: 617-5430189
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Voice of Clay
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Cost: $35

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Circles of Wisdom
386 Merrimack Street, Suite 1-A
Methuen, MA  01844
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Sponsor: Circles of Wisdom
Telephone: 978-474-8010
Contact Name: Cathy Kneeland
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Cost: Class is $45

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68 Stiles Rd
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Salem, NH  03079
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Telephone: 603-275-7688
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68 Stiles Rd
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Salem, NH  03079
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Telephone: 603-275-7688
Contact Name: Stacey Smith
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June 1–2 Join other like-minded seekers as we take a journey through the concepts of the new Earth paradigm, higher self and soul sovereignty, ascension mechanics, and spiritual alchemy.

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Chester, VT


Telephone: (617) 366-6042
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Using Lessons from Music to Harmonize Your Life You know how you want to show up in the world—expressing yourself through your essence, centered in your heart, effective in your life and...

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Center at Westwoods
590 Gay Street
Westwoods, MA
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Telephone: 617-784-4426
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679 Pleasant Street
Paxton, MA  01612
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