Softness And Strength: A New Way To Lead And Live
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Let’s talk about energy. Not the kind that comes from coffee or a good night’s sleep, but the sacred, spiritual energy that lives within each of us. The kind of energy that shapes how we move through the world, how we love, how we lead, and how we heal. And most importantly, how we are perceived and how we perceive ourselves.
As humans, we all carry both female and male energies within us. This has nothing to do with gender. It is about balance, flow, and the natural rhythm of life. It is also about the motivation behind our actions. Are we coming from a place of female energy or male energy?
These two energies dance with each other in everything we do. But when one dominates in an unhealthy way or becomes suppressed, life begins to feel off and unbalanced. Our behaviors drift out of alignment. Our relationships suffer. Our body reacts. Our aspirations get delayed.
What Is Female Energy?
Female energy is often described as soft, flowing, intuitive, nurturing, and creative. It is the energy of receiving. Of being. Of feeling. It listens. It holds space. It allows. Female energy knows when to rest, when to reflect, and when to trust the unseen. When to trust yourself.
In action, female energy might look like:
• Saying “no” to burnout and “yes” to rest
• Listening deeply to your emotions before reacting
• Reacting from the heart instead of the head
• Offering compassion and guidance instead of controlling
• Being present in the moment rather than rushing toward the next goal
• It is the voice that whispers, “It is okay to slow down. You are enough as you are.”
What Is Male Energy?
Male energy is the driving force. It is focused, structured, assertive, and outwardly expressive. It is the “get out of my way so I can make it happen” energy. It is the energy of doing, building, providing, and protecting. It sets goals. It moves with a specific direction. It takes the lead when action is needed.
In action, male energy might look like:
• Making a clear decision and following through
• Holding strong boundaries
• Protecting those you love
• Creating structure to support your vision
• Taking the lead without overpowering othes
• It is the part of you that says, “Let’s take this dream and make it real.”
When We Lose Our Balance
I spent over 20 years in the corporate world, most of it in mergers and acquisitions across the telecom and oil and gas industries. I was based in Texas, where women often have to fight a little harder to be seen and heard. While I learned a lot, it was exhausting.
Like many women, I made the mistake of thinking I had to compete with men by becoming more like them. I thought I had to push through everything, control the outcome, and constantly prove my worth. But underneath it all, I was not being true to who I was: a compassionate, loving woman. I was leading with masculine energy and disconnected from the part of me that needed to slow down, receive, and simply be.
The cost of that imbalance? Burnout. Disconnection. A life that looked successful on the outside but that was missing something: being truly loved by a partner, by family, and most importantly, by myself. I did not love the one I saw in the mirror.
Sometimes when women lean too far into their male energy, they forget to be feminine. They forget to take care of themselves. How many times have we seen new mothers step fully into their male energy the moment a baby arrives? Their focus becomes protecting, providing, keeping everything together. They forget to shower and stay in yoga pants all day. They forget they are wives as well as mothers. The feminine, the part that desires softness, connection, and self-nurturing, gets pushed aside in the name of survival.
How To Shift Into Female Energy
When you are living too much in your male energy, you need to soften and shift into your female energy. How do you do that? You clear any blocks so you are truly aligned with what you are asking for. This is the big step that most people skip. They ask for something, and when it does not happen as quickly as they want, they move straight back into action mode — more pushing.
When you call in what you need and want, you set the intention. You create space for what you are requesting to show up. And then you release the outcome. You trust the universe might deliver something even better than what you imagined.
It is our natural state of being to live in balance with both female and male energies. Male energy is about doing and moving forward. Female energy is about receiving and allowing. We see it everywhere in nature. In reproduction, the male typically initiates and the female receives and nurtures. Both are necessary. Both have purpose.
Balance happens when we stop choosing sides within ourselves. When we take the time to understand how and why we became unbalanced, we allow softness and strength to live together peacefully. When we remember that receiving love is just as powerful as giving it, we let our intuition and heart lead and trust our logic to build the path forward.
This is where true transformation begins: inside that sacred union of energy, the balance of stillness and action.
Inside you.
Mary Carol Ross is a thought leader, intuitive healer, and bestselling author. She is the creator of the Ignite Mastery Method™, a proven three-part framework designed to help people ignite their spirit, master their brilliance, and savor their dreams. Join Mary Carol’s newsletter to receive more personal insight, tools, and guidance.
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