Ask The Psychic Medium

Questions and answers about your guides, loved ones, angels and nurturing your spiritual gifts.

Askthepsychic Gates

Why haven’t I heard from my loved one?

Sometimes when we are missing someone we’ve lost, the grief we are feeling can be overwhelming, and being in the depths of it can block us from seeing the signs that a loved one sends to us. This is particularly true if we were especially close to the one who has passed and are just too entrenched in the rawness of our grief to see and feel these messages from Heaven.

It’s easy to miss these signs, though they are there. Be open to receiving. Sometimes signs can seem like a coincidence. Pay attention to what’s happening around you. Are the lights flashing in the room you’re in, or are the dogs barking or wagging their tails back and forth for no apparent reason or explanation? Animals often see spirits and can see who is coming to visit with you.

Notice what your young children are saying or doing. If you see your children having a conversation with someone who’s not there, it’s more than likely that their grandparents are stopping in and keeping a watchful eye on them. Grandparents are very invested in knowing their grandchildren, even if they were not born before their passing.

Don’t be stressed. Try to give your loved ones in Heaven the time they need to come through. In the meantime, try to hold them close in your heart and acknowledge their lives by speaking about them often and honoring the lives they lived while here on Earth. They love it when their memory is kept alive! And when the messages start to flow, be sure to let them know you are receiving them. It’s a beautiful reminder that love is eternal and that we are constantly surrounded by those we love, whether here or in Heaven.

Do angels have wings?

I see angels with wings, but also with beautiful faces, and each having different jobs to do. I have seen angels gently lay their wings across bodies of people requesting healings, and also wrap their wings around someone who needs comforting.

If you want to see, hear or feel angels, ask them to assist you. Angels like to be asked so as not to go against your own free will. If you want to be closer to the angels, invite them into your home. Adding statues or reading a book about them seems to bring them near. I have a statue or night light of angels in every room, welcoming them in.

Who is guiding you?

You have many guides around you at this moment. Before you came down to Earth, you met with your spirit guides to design a blueprint of your life — a blueprint that would enable your soul to have many learning opportunities to grow and evolve. Life is our schoolroom for learning, so our guides help us decide which path would be the best for us at this time. You chose the existence that is yours today, and your guides helped with choosing your soul family. You are never left alone, as your guides are an important part of your journey. It’s so rewarding to meet your team of helpers on the other side.

Meditation and dreamtime are two of the ways that you can learn to connect with these spiritual teachers. They give you guidance, knowledge, and wisdom. Angels, family members, ancestors, ascended masters and teachers are just a few who can become your guides. Guides help you fulfill the spiritual contract that you made before your trip to Earth this time around. Some guides stay with you throughout your entire life until you are home again, and some are specialty guides that pop in to help with a project or when you need help learning something new.

When I was teaching a dance class many years ago, I would go to bed knowing I had to have the steps down by the next morning, and I would often see dancers in heaven helping me with the steps during my dreamtime. If you do not see your guides, do not become worried; they are there and are very committed to making sure your life journey is going as planned. They cannot change your free will but are behind the scenes sending you signals that they are around with love and guidance.

It’s your job to pay attention to the signs they are sending. Have you ever found a white feather where there is no logical reason for it to appear? Nature plays a big part when your guides are letting you know they are around. Birds, clouds, rainbows, shooting stars, butterflies and more can all be signs that your loved ones are close by and offering comfort and guidance. It’s your job to watch for these signs and pay attention to the world around you every day. Once you make the connection to your guides, you will never feel alone on your journey, making life a little easier, even if you are on the road less traveled.

How do you want to be remembered?

In 10th grade, my high-school history teacher had us sit and write our obituaries. We were so young and had not really started to live life, but he wanted to show us how our life could look in the end. How do you want others to see you when you’re ready to leave Earth? I am sure we all looked a little perplexed staring up at him, so he encouraged us with amazing stories of how many great people in history did amazing things and accomplished their goals in their lifetime. My teacher wanted us to envision what we could do with the time we had here. He wanted us to take a good long look into the future — to truly see how we could manifest the best life possible for ourselves while making the difference in someone else’s life, to truly live a life worth living.

We all sat in class and tried to write our best story of how we imagined our lives would unfold. I remember very clearly envisioning a happy marriage and children and having a happy future, but beyond that I am not sure what else I wrote down. However I do know that 10th grade experience stuck with me my whole life. In fact, every time I have accomplished a new goal or visited a place I’ve always wanted to go, I imagine it written down in my obituary.

This is the time to write your obituary. What do you want others to remember about you? Ask this question as you move forward. Think of your obituary as a vision board. We only have so much time here; with a little planning, it can be filled with love, compassion, and fulfilled dreams. Go big, dream big. When you write down what you truly desire, it gives the universe permission to step in and help with your plans.

Do people attend their own funerals?

I know they do. I often take the time at a funeral or wake to acknowledge the person the service is for. Occasionally, I will hear them before seeing them. Lots of times they ask me to tell their loved ones that they are okay. I respectfully do that later at a time when it’s appropriate.

When a recent family member passed and we were at the church service, I was amazed when I looked up at the podium to see all of her ten brothers and sisters in spirit holding hands together while the service was taking place. It was beautiful to see that our bonds of family hold steady even in the spirit world — standing together hand-in-hand to offer support for their sister as she watched her family and friends saying goodbye to her. A testament of true love and devotion for each other and their unconditional love never stops, not even in death.

Are you holding on to guilt?

It’s not easy to move forward when you are holding on to the feeling of guilt because you had to make some hard, final decisions at the end of a loved one’s life. Unfortunately, guilt is a natural and common component of grief. We somehow feel that we failed in our duties and obligations or that we’ve done something wrong.

We can feel that we didn’t do enough or could have changed the outcome in some way. It’s only human to look at what you did or did not do and start to dwell on the “what-ifs” and “if onlys.” Your loved one does not want you to feel anything but love. They want you to let go of any regrets or guilt and to go on living a happy and fulfilling life. Try to picture a situation where the tables are turned and you would want nothing more than for your loved one to go on. It’s important to try to remember all the good things you have done in your relationship with your loved one and all the loving care you shared. All the memories of what you did together that brought you joy, laughter, and excitement are the important things to hold on to and keep close.

Everyone grieves in his or her own way and own time. Take the time you need to heal. Do good deeds in your loved one’s honor. Take time for yourself, cry when you need to, be kind and compassionate with yourself, and sooner rather than later only the happy memories will remain.

If an unhappy thought does come into your head, there’s a great trick to getting the bad thought out and letting the good in. When an unhappy thought comes to you, take a moment to say, “clear, clear, clear” three times, and replace the unhappy thought with something that brings a smile to your lips. Soon only the happy thoughts will reside.

How can I take care of myself as an empath?

Have others described you as being overly sensitive? Do you become overwhelmed or easily fatigued in large crowds? When you meet strangers in a crowded room, do they begin to tell you intimate details of their lives almost immediately? Do friends routinely monopolize your telephone conversations with their “poor me” stories? Do you begin to feel ill when visiting a friend or relative in a hospital?

These are all common signs associated with being an empath. As an empath, it seems that other people’s emotions and even physical sicknesses can become your own. You are like an energetic sponge, soaking up all the emotions around you — both the negative and the positive. Your sensitivity is a gift, but left unmanaged, it can drain you.

How can you control your gift? Meditation can help you to learn to open and close the crown chakra (the energetic center at the top your head) so that you do not feel constantly bombarded by others’ thoughts, feelings, and physical ailments. Meditate before you leave your home each day so that your chakras and your overall aura are not overextended. Before bed, do a chakra-cleansing meditation. Neither meditation needs to be longer than 15 minutes, and they can be done while you bathe, leisurely walk the dog, listen to calming music or just relax.

Try using sage as a method of clearing your aura, the energetic field around your body. First set the intention to remove all energies that cling to you and do not serve you. Then bring the sage smoke around your entire body, first down and then back up, toward the heart and over the head. Let it stay for a bit to absorb those excess energies, then open a window to clear the smoke.

If it’s not your preference to use sage smoke in your home, you can achieve similar results by using some Epsom or pink Himalayan salts in the bath, or sage soap in the shower. In either case, visualize the salt or soap suds rinsing the excess energies down the drain.

Mother Nature is the ultimate purifier! Spend some time outside walking barefoot in the grass, hiking through quiet woods, or swimming in the ocean or a lake. Water is an amazing clearing tool, especially since our bodies are mostly made up of water, plants are mostly water, and we live on a planet that is mostly water.

Speaking of plants and the planet, try to eat a variety of high-vibrational fruits and vegetables. Eat foods that span the colors of the rainbow and your chakras! These nutritious, high-fiber foods not only cleanse your body, but they also cleanse your energy centers. The goal is to align your physical body with its perfect auric vibration, like tuning a radio dial to get just the right reception.

If you’re feeling drained and attribute it to your empathic gift, try picturing a helmet on top of your head that no energies can permeate. Or envision yourself encased in a mirrored bubble where others’ energies will just bounce off. You could also visualize a beautiful white light wrapping its way around your body, shielding and healing you.

If you’re feeling cloudy and out of it, envision flowering vines wrapped around your ankles that are deeply rooted in the strong bedrock of Mother Earth. Ask her to ground you. You can picture flushing stagnant energies down the vines and into the earth, where they will be absorbed.

Remember to take time for yourself. A soothing massage or facial can renew both body and soul. Laughter is the best medicine! Watch a funny movie, dance or sing, or just be silly. Your soul will soar. A Reiki session will help keep your chakras open and spinning at their optimum vibration.

Excerpted with permission from Ask the Psychic Medium by Bonnie Page, 2019, Balboa Press.

A born medium with conscious memories of spirit communication since the age of four, Bonnie Page has developed her talents to become a gifted, evidential medium. In 2004 she opened Messages From Heaven Healing Center in Leominster, MA. Visit

See also:
How To Make And Use Magical Moon Water
The Power To Heal Begins With Belief