Do “Sad Songs Say So Much” Or Do They Just Make us Sadder?
Listening to sad music can make people feel like a supportive friend is there so they feel less alone.
Photo©RomanSamborskyi/123rf
Our taste in music varies from person to person much like our taste for food. There are so many styles of music to experience and sample, yet we tend to choose the same things over and over. Our musical taste buds are flavored by variations in genre, tempo, volume, mood, and lyrical content, and they can also be influenced by our state of mind at the time of listening, as well as any past programming or memory associated with that music. With all our complex sensory, emotional and cognitive musical interactions, it begs the question: Are our habitual listening choices good medicine for us or do they make us feel worse than before we listened?
Research shows that it depends on whether you have a propensity for depression and rumination or not. Depressed people have been found to want to listen to sad music more often than their upbeat counterparts. Originally researchers concluded that this was because they wanted to maintain their low moods. However, a study published in the journal Emotion, has flipped that implication on its head. Rather than maintain their mood, “the sad music may be calming to people with depression, even uplifting,” says Christian Jarrett in his article, “Why do people with depression like listening to sad music?”
Listening to sad music can make people feel like a supportive friend is there so they feel less alone. Much like reaching for a pint of ice cream, a glass of wine or meditation, we use music to soothe us.
Here are five simple ways you can customize a musical remedy for your own healing.
1. START BY BECOMING AWARE OF YOUR OWN VIBRATION. Which emotions are you living in right now? Since everything is energy, music carries its own vibrational frequency as well. We can learn to become more aware of our own emotional vibrations and how everything around us affects our vibration, including the music we listen to.
As you experiment with this, you may find it annoying to run up to the top of the vibrational scale and listen to joyful music when you are feeling stuck in anger or grief. But listening to a song that has a heated vibration, like the Carrie Underwood song, “Before He Cheats,” can raise you above feeling depressed and fearful. Experiment with different songs and how they make you feel. If you feel better after listening, you are on the right track.
2. KEEP IN MIND THIS IS A NO JUDGMENT ZONE. It’s fine if you are drawn to sad songs at this time; try and get the most out of them. We move in and out of emotions all the time. Sad songs can give us a good cry, which may be just what we need at this time. They also make us feel there is someone out there who feels the same way, and the singer stands in for a compassionate friend that is cradling you in a healing musical embrace. Use this time to feel the sadness in the music as a cathartic healing balm.
3. FIND A THEME SONG THAT EMPOWERS YOU AND PLAY IT FREQUENTLY. Pick something that makes you feel empowered like Kelly Clarkson’s “Stronger” that reminds us “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” or Helen Reddy’s famous “I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar.” You can even re-write the words to a famous melody you like, incorporating the things you want to feel in your own life. Try recording yourself singing it on your phone and listen to it when you need a reminder. There is power in hearing your own voice speak the things you most want, burrowing deep down into your subconscious to evoke change and speed up learning.
Some other examples of good theme songs are:
“All You Need Is Love” by the Beatles
“Respect” by Aretha Franklin
“We Are The Champions” by Queen
“I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor
“Girl On Fire” by Alicia Keys
“Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen
“Brave” by Sara Bareilles
4. ASK YOURSELF BETTER QUESTIONS. As easy as this next step sounds, don’t underestimate its power. Start to pay attention to the negative questions you are asking yourself so you can come up with contrasting positive ones.
When you ask a question, your mind must give an answer. So instead of asking, “Why does this always happen to me?” and receiving a disempowering answer, you could rephrase it: “How can I attract more good things my way?” When we learn to ask better questions, we will get better answers. A question like “What else is possible here?” stimulates your subconscious mind to find a positive answer.
So, before you decide to reach for the same piece of music try asking, “How will this song make me feel after I listen to it? Then ask the all-important question, “How do I want to feel?” Let that be your guide to choosing a more empowering song for yourself and see how well it works!
5. TRY SOME CLASSICAL MUSIC. Sometimes it’s just the thing you need when your mind cannot take any more words in. Just the calming effect of the instrumentation can quickly bring peace into your own head. Try Antonio Vivaldi’s Flute Concerto in C. When we can learn to appreciate a brand new tune, our hearts soar in harmonious waves of vibration that lift us up to explore the vastness of a new rainbow.
Carrie Rowan is an award winning singer/songwriter, author, mindset coach and edutainer, who educates while entertaining children and adults through music. www.carrierowan.com
Find holistic Sound Healing in the Spirit of Change online Alternative Health Directory.
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