Feng Shui and Your Love Life
Dear Lynn,
I have no love life. Help.
— Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Let’s first give you a name. In a recent column a question was submitted by a person named Loveday. I was absolutely charmed by that name and I want you to consider it yours in some way. A nickname perhaps? Adopt it in a way that allows you to cherish the love you feel for yourself and your life. Consider how you can better love yourself.
This deepest interior — yourself — is a good place to begin. I would gamble a good sum that this interior space feels weak, perhaps exascerbated because of loneliness or self-judgment about not having a love life or an intimate partnership. You didn’t give me much information about yourself or your space — and none about your bedroom — considered love headquarters by some. You’ve given me little to work with, and in so doing, granted me free license on this topic. Let’s get to the feng shui heart of the matter.
Feng shui has to do with the reciprocal influences — you could say relationship — between an environment and its occupants. By any chance have you pushed one side of your bed against a wall? If one side is pushed up against a wall you are having a relationship with the wall. It’s very secure and it is almost always what I see in the bedrooms of the recently divorced, or widowed, heart-broken survivors of some relationship’s ending. That wall is not going anywhere and you can count on it to be faithful. It provides some stability in your possibly traumatized, certainly lonely predicament.
It seems that you are past this stage and just orbiting solo. Position your bed so that there is good and equal access on both sides. And for heaven’s sake, please have something larger than a twin size bed! As an adult, that’s for the monastic life, which you obviously don’t want.
Identify love sectors throughout your home. These are located in the right rear position of any room, dwelling or space. Eliminate any lonely one-person-only artwork. Sweeten love sector areas with pink, yellow, white flowers or imagery, perhaps.
Lighting (fire!) is great in these areas. Use lamps, please. Avoid overheads or recessed lighting in the bedroom. Lighting should be closer to the level that humans occupy when they are seated. Yes, overhead lighting may in some cases be energy efficient, and it certainly works well in a police line-up, but look for examples like this that industrialize your bedroom and eliminate, soften and warm them up! Activate your dormant Ph.D in Cozy. Use lamps, fire and light to create and nourish the earth element in your bedroom. Earth is the receptive, grounded, and fertile feature of a nourishing relationship; generated by fire, you’ve nicely incorporated passion.
I used to advise people to create a sort of crescendo in these love sectors — furniture or objects that are higher than other features in a room. But I stopped doing that because although people got results, they were inappropriate and short-lived. Crescendo does imply an imminent demise.
Clear out clutter, particularly in love sectors. I recently heard someone say clutter represents postponed decisions. I think that’s the best description of stagnant energy I’ve ever heard. When and where clutter begins to accumulate (per the bagua especially) the corresponding life aspect goes into a holding pattern. Unless there are powerful boosts elsewhere in these areas it’s difficult to create or even allow deep and meaningful new life experiences. And if you’d like to shed a few pounds prior to intimacy get rid of stuff. Throwing things out is a very invigorating diet!
In closing, Dear Anonymous Loveday, I hope you can implement some of these suggestions. I’d like to hear from you again in a few months. At that point we can add Phase 2 to this love foundation.
Dear Lynn,
I enjoy your column in Sprit of Change magazine and need your help. My house has a “missing corner.” It is in the left rear (wealth) corner of my home. It is what it is, as I am not putting on any additions soon, so…
I have a lovely overgrown forsythia bush, grasses and moss-covered stones within and around the surrounding area. I recently added a small (12″) statue of a young, relaxing Buddha. It made me smile when I saw it and I thought it could help in this area. I located it exactly where the corner would be if my house were one square. He is made of — metal. Is this a problem given all the greenery around it and the very Zen feeling I have just looking at it? What are some suggestions for this corner?
Inside the house, what is considered the left rear: the farthest left or the farthest rear? The farthest rear contains an unfinished, second, half-bathroom and the back hall laundry room. The farthest left contains a computer and my family/dining room. Any advice would be appreciated. I am working on fixing my finances — seeking additional income/work after separating from my spouse two years ago. Thanks so much. — Patty
Dear Patty,
You have a lot going on and an additional revenue income stream would certainly be helpful as you no longer partner with another to share expenses.
Your wealth sector is the left rear quadrant, and the Buddha that so pleases you — even though metal (a challenging element in the wealth sector) — is good. Perfect of you to place it in such a way that squares off the gap there. Emphasize that area: decorate it, pay attention to it, sit in it, make seasonal changes to enliven it, perhaps adorn the Buddha from time to time. You are completing the form by locating and identifying that area. Typically for urgent financial matters, something fast growing and perpendicular/vertical would be my suggestion for that spot, such as a poplar. But you indicated that there was already pleasing and established growth there.
This footprint of your house is very important but it doesn’t have to be your sole focus. There are many ways you can empower and energize your endeavors. A general tune up is a good beginning. In every area of your home — all rooms within it — exists a wealth sector (or not, if you have those areas missing.) Strengthen each wealth area; scrutinize it for any aspects of neglect, such as clutter, and so forth. Really address each of those areas in some ultimately pleasing way.
It seems that your bathroom straddles both your wealth and fame sectors. If you are seeking additional work and income, think green! Get some green — literally — into the laundry room. Some ideas might be a floor rug and plant, if there is enough light.
Ignore the fame aspect, as most of us don’t require that unless our career involves being in the public eye. But this area also corresponds with illumination and our own inner “eye,” as well as our reputation. We all require acknowledgement, recognition and to be respectfully considered in various ways. We need our voice to express our interpretation of matters in any circumstance involving others, which ultimately affects our quality of life.
Let’s turn our attention to the career sector of the bagua in the center front. While this aspect represents your career, ultimately this area supports and nourishes your journey in life. It is the pathway that is truly yours to traverse. As you are certainly creating a major life change and a redefinition on many levels, the element here is water. Think flow. But not just water. There is an ancestral implication — a participation, really — in this area. In the olden days we used to do what our families did. We were farmers or merchants or shipbuilders. There was a stream that strongly determined, and even until recent decades, still influenced what we did for a living.
Water, movement, flow would be wonderful assists for you in realizing a new era of your life. Its symbolic color is black. If it would look appropriate — other things considered — paint your front door black. In any case, clean your front door and make it a big inviting smile.
I have the impression that your computer is in an area that serves or could serve as your home office, and that it’s shared with the family and dining room. To the extent possible set this area up so that you are supported; have the “backing” of a wall perhaps. The desk should face back into the room. You can hide wires with knee high bookcases facing into the room.
If you intend for the office to provide income, more clearly define your space to give it integrity separate from the dining/family area. This can concentrate your earning potential and focus your process. In addition, if that office/family/dining room is less of an open-ended meandering sprawl of different functions it assists you in having an “off” switch for work. Entering or even passing the room will not be an automatic “I should be working” prompt. Space permitting, consider closing the office section off — even occasionally — maybe with a moveable standing screen. Examine and upgrade your circumstances in the wealth, fame and career sectors of your home, and this will assist you in mining new rewards from the treasure that is you.
The late Lynn Taylor was a senior feng shui practitioner, teaching and consulting in the United States and Mexico for both business and home environments.
