I Can’t Believe I Said That!

June 17, 2024

Lisa Fontanella,

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What we say matters. The words we say to others and to ourselves have a significant impact on our state of being, our happiness and self-esteem. I grew up with the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” What a load of hooey!

Sayings like this have led us to believe that words have no power. I’m here to tell you that is simply not the case.

Here’s The Proof

Plants Respond To Vibration: You can enhance your green thumb power by giving your plants some positive mojo. Since my thumb is barely even a shade of green, I need all the help I can get! I like to encourage my plants (and me) by saying, “You can do it!” The vibration and intent of my encouragement must be working as evidenced by the lush growth and blooms of my flora friends. Research even shows plants perceive sounds and respond to specific vibrations that actually increase growth.

My plants also love music! Studies show vibration and sound waves create a rich environment for plants to thrive. Hold off on the heavy metal, though; plants seem to respond best to classical and jazz. Could sound waves be a catalyst to promoting plant health and abundant food harvest worldwide without pesticides?

Children Thrive On Praise: If loving words have been scientifically proven beneficial to plants, think about how much more powerful they can be to humans! Studies show positive words, thoughts and emotions can significantly influence a person’s health and well-being. While this is true for all humans, it is especially important for children. It breaks my heart to think of a child being on the receiving end of criticism, cruelty and shaming. Random thoughtless comments to a child can have lifelong debilitating consequences, resulting in depression, low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts, body image issues, and so much more. Think about what you are saying! How would you feel if those words were said to you?

For children who grew up never being praised, encouraged and seen, I’m sad for that pain you suffered. You now have the opportunity to change that for yourself, your family and friends, and your community. You have a choice. Here is a way to start honoring yourself, knowing your worth and loving yourself in a way that you never thought was possible: affirmations.

Affirmations

I first learned about affirmations decades ago in 1984, when I purchased a copy of You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. This New York Times bestseller was groundbreaking then, and still holds up today, with well over 30 million copies sold and translated into 30 languages.

A metaphysical pioneer, Louise Hay, explains affirmations this way:

An affirmation opens the door. It’s a beginning point on the path to change. In essence, you’re saying to your subconscious mind: “I am taking responsibility. I am aware that there is something I can do to change.” When I talk about doing affirmations, I mean consciously choosing words that will either help eliminate something from your life or help create something new in your life.

An affirmation is a short, positive statement in the present tense.

I am in perfect health.
I love myself just the way I am.
My income is constantly increasing.

The science behind affirmations is well documented, leaving no doubt that these powerful statements can help change the trajectory of your life. The choice is yours to start using affirmations right away to reap the benefits of positive change in your life, or to continue waiting another day, week or year to reap the benefits of planting your seeds of change.

Is It True? Is It Kind? Is It Necessary?

“Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” are words to live by, both when speaking to yourself and anyone else. Regarding truth, ninety-nine percent of the negative thoughts we have about ourselves (and subsequently repeat to ourselves over and over again) are untrue. Conditioning from family, school, peers, social media and community have shaped our beliefs about ourselves. But are they true?

It is easy to conclude that we are not good enough, smart enough and brave enough one hundred percent of the time because someone made a negative remark about us in a single situation. If we begin to repeat that remark to ourselves over and over again, it soon becomes a personal belief we assign to ourselves in every situation.

Remember, words matter. If you were hurt by someone else’s words, why are you repeating them to yourself now? You can make a different choice. And likewise, you can prevent yourself from perpetuating this pattern with someone else by double checking to make sure the words you are about to speak to another person are true before you say them.

Kindness is based on respect. I am being kind if I respect you for who you are, even if I don’t understand. I am being kind if I respect you for your decisions, even if I don’t agree. I am being kind if I respect you for speaking your truth, even if it differs from mine. When you respect someone, you are naturally kind to that person, both in word and deed. Before you speak, ask yourself if these words to another are kind.

“Is it necessary” is the final test for your words. If you have ever played the gossip party game, you get a sense of how easy it is to spread and believe gossip. One person whispers a saying or phrase to the person next to them, then that person whispers what they heard to the next person, and so on. The last person shares what they heard and compares it to the original saying. Of course, the discrepancies can be hilarious!

While this is meant to be a lighthearted game, the concept in real life is quite alarming and all too common. Gossip, by definition, is news which may or may not be true, and certainly not necessary to share. Back in the day, we certainly had mean gossip, but cruelty is taken to a whole new level in today’s world. An anonymous, gossip post on social media can quickly spread virally, and devastate the person targeted, even turning into cyberbullying with tragic or lethal consequences. Could this have been prevented? Absolutely! While you cannot control anyone’s words but your own, you can still do your part to contribute only mindful words to our collective human conversation.

Sadly, some people don’t grow out of childhood gossiping, and carry it to their workplaces. Gossip in a workplace creates low morale, decreased productivity, and a toxic environment. I have worked in gossip infected work situations, and I could feel the negative energy oozing out of particular people. They loved to conspire with fellow gossipers, and make it their mission to purposefully hurt other employees.

I was one of their targets. My positivity was what made me a target, and was also my saving grace. I would shield myself energetically, and graciously remove myself from negative conversations and gossip. They did not appreciate that! In fact, I was ostracized. Did it hurt? Hell, yeah. I then realized my self-esteem and self-respect were more important than fitting in at work. It took some time, but eventually they became bored with me and left me alone.

We all have a choice in how we treat ourselves and others, and tremendous power to create a new, positive reality. A kind word, an encouragement, and an ‘atta girl’ affirmation go a long way in that direction.

I am a beacon of light in my life and the lives of others.

Lisa Fontanella provides digital marketing and virtual assistant services to holistic practitioners and businesses. She is the proud author of the children’s book Crystal’s Quest: An Adventure into the World of Gemstones. Lisa is a Reiki Master, holistic practitioner, and empowerment coach.