Dear Louise

Dear Louise,
I’m a 40-year-old woman who has been recently diagnosed with menopause and have also found out that I have the sickle-cell trait. I’m losing my hair, and I’ve just come to the end of a very bad job from which I’ve been laid off. Financially, I’m struggling. I’ve been bad with money and have no savings. For some of this time I’ve been victimized by one of my colleagues, who finally won a tireless campaign to get rid of me. I suffered playground bullying as a child, also. Despite this, I’m very strong and a fighter and am trying to regain my confidence.

My real desire is to have a successful career in writing, and I’ve been trying my hand at this. I’ve been to a writing class and some of the extracts I’ve read have been well received. My current job is as a senior administrator. Overall, I’m really exhausted at this point. What I want is a long rest away from working. I don’t want to go full steam ahead into another job, but because I own a home and have debts to pay, I have no choice. Any advice?

— D.F., London, England

Dear D.F.,
It’s hard to solve a problem by looking at everything that’s wrong. Let’s begin by looking at your strengths. Just because you have a “trait” doesn’t mean you’ll get a dis-ease. You are obviously a survivor. You just ended a very bad job, you own your own home, you’re a budding writer, you’re strong, and you’re half my age! Yes, you have a pattern or two from childhood that needs changing, but this is all doable. Your whole life is in front of you.

Please begin by forgiving the bullies from childhood and the one at work. By doing so, you’re setting yourself free and releasing the old pattern that has followed you to the last job. Menopause is not a dis-ease. It’s a normal transition in life. I went to a homeopathic practitioner when I went through menopause and found it to be most helpful. I see your hair loss as the extreme tension you’ve put yourself under.

Learn to relax, breathe deeply, and gently and lovingly massage your scalp. Write a daily gratitude list. Say something loving to yourself every time you pass a mirror. It all sounds simple, but this is the way you break old patterns and give the universe a chance to bring new, wonderful experiences into your life.

Affirm: I am willing to release the past. I love and appreciate who I am. Life loves me and I am safe. All is well.

Dear Louise,
I love your work and utilize it in my life at all times. I was recently told that I have rosacea. I could not find it in your book (Heal your Body). What is the mental/emotional cause? I know it has to be stress related…but aren't most illnesses?! Any suggestions for an affirmation? — C.D., Tucson, Arizona

Dear C.D.,
Rosacea is a skin condition, and skin always represents protection. You’re feeling threatened by some situation. As I often say, almost all dis-ease conditions are a combination of thoughts and foods. Thoughts we want to choose on a daily basis have to do with forgiveness, self-love, and gratitude. The foods we want to choose are fresh vegetables, protein, grains, and some fruits. Sugar is very bad for the skin; it accelerates the wrinkling process. Wheat and dairy can cause problems, too.

So whom do you need to forgive? Include yourself, too. How can you be more loving to yourself? Stop criticizing yourself and begin praising yourself. Consciously breathe more. Touch your face with love. Find yourself a good nutritionist and clean up your food choices.

Affirm: I rejoice in my own beauty. I love my skin!

Dear Louise,
I recently adopted a dog, and although I’ve never experienced an allergy to dogs before, I appear to be allergic to him. I cough and wheeze whenever I’m around him. I love the dog and don't want to give him up. Could you kindly offer suggestions as to the root cause of my newly developed allergy? Thank you so much. — R.R., South Carolina

Dear R.R.,
Seeing that you’ve never had an allergic reaction to animals before, I suggest that you contact a holistic veterinarian who has natural homeopathic preparations that you’ll give to your dog so that you’ll have fewer allergic reactions. It sounds miraculous, and it is. Do give this a try.

Affirm: I have a healthy, happy relationship with my dear dog. We both love each other.

Dear Louise,
I’m a 58-year-old woman and thought I had a mild case of snoring up till now. Two years ago I found out that I have sleep apnea, and I use a Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) machine every night. I’m totally embarrassed by this. A doctor friend of mine said that I shouldn’t be. What might be the core issues that have contributed to this condition? Is there an affirmation I can use to help? — K.C., Vancouver, B.C., Canada

Dear K.C.,
Sleep apnea usually means that a person is feeling guilty about expressing themselves so they hold back and almost suffocate themselves in the process. What is it that you need to express? Who are you afraid of? You need to know that you are safe and have a right to be yourself. Tell that person what you need to tell him or her, and you’ll feel so much better afterward. On the physical side, many people with this condition are overweight and need to ingest a more cleansing diet. If this applies to you, I suggest that you eat lots of vegetables and protein, and very little sugar and starch.

Affirm: I love my body. I take loving care of my diet and my thoughts. I choose foods that support my health, and I think thoughts that make me feel good. My healing has begun. I sleep peacefully.

Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical teacher and the best-selling author of numerous books including You Can Heal Your Life, Empowering Women, and The Times of Our Lives. Questions for Louise? Write to: Dear Louise Column, c/o Hay House, Inc., P.O. Box 5100, Carlsbad, CA 92018-5100 (letters may be edited for length and clarity). Visit Louise and Hay House at® or call 800-654-5126 to receive a free premier issue of the Louise Hay Newsletter.