Ensuring A Good Fit Between You And Your Healing Practitioner
To claim the responsibility of ensuring you have a good practitioner fit is to say you are worth it.
Photo©AndreaPiacquadio/pexels
We all need the help of others in our life to see what we can’t see on our own. This is especially so when it comes to our health. At its best, the support we receive from others when it comes to the healing we seek, places us at the center of our care. Meaning, the totality of who we are — our thoughts, emotions, soul, family and work life, history and more — are seen as valuable and contributing factors in what is happening for us. That recognition is honored by being front and center in how the visit with a healing practitioner unfolds.
This is contrasted to the twelve minute office visit where you wait for an hour or more past your appointment time to be seen. Then, instead of someone sitting with you face-to-face in a comfortable environment with all the time you need, your information is inputted into a computer and you are given a diagnosis, a prescription and, after you have paid your co-payment, hurried out the door.
Why is it that so many of us have come to expect that a rushed, one-size-fits-all approach to our health is as good as it gets?
On the one hand, it’s because conventional Western medical care has been set up as the gold standard — take it or leave it — whether it works for us or not. This has been ingrained into our psyches because it’s what we have grown up with, what everyone around us is doing, as well as how the health insurance works in our country.
On the other hand, it’s because alternative approaches, which honor the full extent of who we are and the importance of the healing relationship, have been marginalized and demonized to such an extent that we are either not aware of an alternative, or are scared to step outside of the current medical system. The fear is if we are wrong in choosing this way, there will be dire consequences. And no support.
Then there is how we were raised. If, as children, we see others treating the body as something to fear or someone else’s job to take care of, we will be more likely to feel frightened and unprepared when it comes to taking charge of our own health. This leaves us in the position of seeking out an expert, someone who knows better than we do about our own body. Many of us seek out this model of health care, whether it actually works for us or not, because it is all we know and because we do not know what else to do.
This sets up a child-parent dynamic when it comes to your health and healing, a relationship where someone else is the authority figure, and you are the child who needs to be good and do what you are told. This dynamic is not just present with your primary care doctor. This way of relating on your part can show up with any practitioner where you give them more of a say in your health than is healthy.
How Might This Show Up For You?
It can feel like wanting someone to fix you or make it better for you. It can look like doing something because an expert told you to, even though it doesn’t feel right to you and your gut is telling you something else. Really, any time your fears have gotten a hold of you, and can only be assuaged by another’s opinion, you’re back in the place of the dependent, powerless child, leaving you vulnerable to take what is being offered whether it makes sense to you or not.
As you can see, your feelings and beliefs about health run deep and require careful reflection if you are to understand the choices you make around your health. Not just to experience the healing you desire, but to afford you the opportunity to claim your rightful agency as a full status adult who knows their body better than anyone, and who is a powerful co-creator with any practitioner you choose.
Is Your Practitioner A Good Fit For You?
Below are some questions to consider when trying to determine if there is a good fit between you and the practitioner you have chosen.
• How do you feel when you’re with this practitioner? Like an equal or like a child?
• Is this practitioner a good listener, valuing your input or dismissing it?
• Does this practitioner seem healthy to you? If not, can this practitioner really be of service to you?
• Does this practitioner encourage you to trust yourself, or place themselves as the authority who knows better than you?
• Is this practitioner willing to say “I don’t know?”
• Do you ever feel coerced or dismissed? Are you afraid of angering or disappointing this person?
• Does this practitioner seem passionate about their calling? Flexible and open-minded?
• Does this practitioner mock or undermine another practitioner’s viewpoint?
• Is all of you — mind, body and soul — included in the equation?
If the fit with this practitioner is not a good one for you for any reason, you can leave, change practitioners, and go somewhere else. No questions asked, no explanation necessary. And, if you are shamed on the way out, that’s when you know you have made the right choice!
To claim the responsibility of ensuring you have a good practitioner fit is to say you are worth it. It is to say you deserve to receive the very best support that is available to you. That begins by understanding all health and healing begins with you, and whoever you choose to be part of your team, in whose company you feel seen and heard, has been thoroughly vetted by you.
Susan McNamara is a woman who cares deeply about how we are living and how it is that we treat ourselves, each other, and the planet. She is the founder of The Healer Within: A Unique Online Health & Healing Community for Women and the author of Trusting Your Body: The Embodied Journey of Claiming Sacred Responsibility for Your Health & Well-Being. She can be reached at RememberingWhatMattersMost.com.
