One Of A Kind

Mother Of Pearl Pendant 400

While browsing in and out of curiosity shops in New York City several years ago with my then to be daughter-in-law Caitlin, there was a pendant that caught my eye. I love pendants and I collect the ones that have a distinct personality. This one was a flat round piece, a bit larger than a silver dollar maybe, made from mother of pearl. What made it distinct was that there was this, I guess you could say “air bubble” that pushed out a blueberry sized bump a bit off to the center of the pendant.

The owner said, “It’s different, isn’t it? It was probably a mistake, but actually that makes it one of a kind.” I loved it and I wear it to this day — a fond memory of time in NYC spent with Cait, and a reminder that I find value in one of a kind. 

I think we all place value on the one of a kind concept. Be it finding the perfect gift for a friend, or a new piece of decor for your home, if it’s one of a kind, doesn’t that add value?

I started thinking: are we not all one of a kind? On the day we were born, we began our journey into our earthly life. We were not born with a “Don’t Worry…Be Happy” manual.  Instead we were given time and experiences so that we could build the beliefs about ourselves and the world around us that sail our ship today. We were not born broken, with insecurities and hang-ups and self-doubt. Those feelings/beliefs were a result of living through our own individual experiences and then drawing (in many cases false) conclusions, which then cemented in our belief system.

I am experienced and have lived enough years to know that by a certain age, you either continue to criticize and judge yourself, thinking that you are not quite adequate in some way, shape or form, or you finally wake up to the truth: You are a unique one of a kind creation of the universe, and you were given the gift of life. There are billions of people in this world and there is only one of you. How can the universe create us all to be so uniquely different from one another?

“You are the only you that has been and ever will be. You are kind of a big deal.” —Jen Sincero  

And do you stop and appreciate your differences, or do you secretly pine to be/act like someone else? In the same vein, do you stop and appreciate their differences, or do you secretly pine for them to be/act like someone else. Comparison is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life!

There are millions of self help books out there written with the intention of helping people feel better about who they are. Why? Because down here in our earthly human lives it is like swimming in muddy water. Gaining perspective, understanding, clarity — figuring it all out. Answers to “Who am I? What is my purpose?” can feel quite elusive. People might claim to have all the answers, but no one does really.  

My personal belief is this: To be happy here is to become accountable to one person only, and that is you. Once you take ownership of your life and cut back on trying to be someone you are not, you will truly be the CEO of you, a one of a kind beautiful creation of a master artisan. Because in the end, all you really have is who you are.  So, just be you! Because no one else on Earth can.

Tina Marian, RN, is the former director of psychiatric triage at Metro West Medicine Center in Natick, MA and has over 40 years of healing and health experience with both mainstream and alternative medicine. If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, Tina can help you step into a new life worth living. Visit