The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself This Season Is Self-Love


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Love is one of a human’s primary needs; we need love to thrive, just like we need air to survive. We can’t grow and develop in a harmonious way without love, and most especially without self-love.

There are no magic methods that can help you resolve your lack of self-esteem overnight so you can begin to love yourself. However, the journey toward self-love is one of the most exciting adventures you will ever undertake, as you discover new facets to your unique beauty, while your relationships steadily improve.

Some of the leading causes of self-love deprivation are:

  • Setting expectations too high puts too much pressure on yourself, especially if you rarely reach your standard. Long-term consequences can leave you disappointed in yourself and decrease your self-love levels.
  • Rejecting parts of yourself, such as details about your body, an attitude, a weakness, or a bad habit, might be holding you back from being able to accept yourself.
  • Growing up with overly critical parents or other family members can make a lasting impression that you are not good enough to be loved.
  • Toxic relationships in your current life can diminish your self-worth, self-esteem, and self-love.

Twelve Steps Toward Self-Love

  1. Forgive yourself. When we talk about forgiveness we often think of forgiving others, but it is just as important to develop the ability to forgive ourselves for any of our mistakes and failures. Continuous self-blame will make your life miserable, so take the first steps of the inner journey toward forgiveness as soon as possible. Here’s a simple yet powerful exercise to help you let go of blame and start to forgive yourself: Write down everything you regret and blame yourself for. Notice any patterns when you berate yourself most, and give yourself permission to be forgiven. Then light the paper on fire and let all those painful memories go up in smoke.
  2. Accept yourself. We expect others to accept and love us as we are, so we should be the first ones who will do that for ourselves. Every transformation you seek in your life starts from within; there’s no other way.
  3. Invest in yourself. Practicing self-love is a long-term project that takes time to develop, but it is worth all the effort, time, and energy you invest. For this reason, choose to invest time and energy to learn the best practices for you. Lack of self-love is the main reason people keep attracting bad relationships to themselves and pushing away the love they long for. Start accepting and loving yourself for who you are, and the outside world will follow.
  4. Use the power of positive affirmations. Tack up reminders of your self-love in helpful places around your home and read them silently or out loud to yourself often.
  5. Practice meditation. Meditation is a great way to ground yourself, embrace the present and release negative thoughts, feelings that are holding you back from loving yourself.
  6. Exercise and move. This will help you maintain a healthy, harmonious body, boost your serotonin and energy levels, and increase your self-esteem and self-love. It is easier to feel good about yourself when you have good physical energy. Get outdoors whenever possible; fresh air and sunshine are natural mood boosters.
  7. Be more grateful. Whenever you feel a negative thought pattern arising in your mind, remind yourself what you are grateful for, and notice how your energy shifts immediately.
  8. Stop trying to please everyone. Many people think they will be less loved and accepted if they don’t please everyone. Be aware that this is not what makes people love you. Learn to say “no” in a kind and positive manner when that is the right response for you to make.
  9. Let go of comparisons and self-judgment. If you want to develop self-love, one of the first things you need to do is let go of comparing yourself to others. From the moment you start comparing yourself, you place yourself in the shadow of others, and you are on your way to low self-worth and self-esteem.
  10. Connect with your inner being. Learn to quiet your mind and listen to your intuition. There are so many ways to calm down and pause for a moment — meditation, yoga, mindfulness practices, creating art, or being in nature — so choose what works best you.
  11. Nurture your body and soul. Adopt a healthy self-care routine and surround yourself with people who love, inspire, and encourage you.
  12. Celebrate even the slightest success you have, and be proud of your achievements!

Shawna Allard is a gifted psychic medium and intuitive reader, award-winning author, public speaker, spiritual coach, and founder of the Divine Knowing Institute, which offers seekers spiritual guidance and educates them on developing and strengthening their intuition.

Also see:
How To Love Yourself Truly And Deeply
Meditations On Self-Acceptance

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