Space Available Essays: The Power of Love

Purifying Love Like Gold

by Robert Elias Najemy

Love is a word used in many contexts. It can mean anything from lust, desire or attachment to romantic love or the highest spiritual love.

The purity of our love can be measured by the happiness it brings us. When we suffer because of our so called “love,” this means that it is not yet pure. It is mixed with ignorance, need, attachment, fear, lust, expectation, dependency or other mental states. These are always the real causes of our suffering when our love is not pure.

Love, then, is like the gold ore, which is dug up from the earth. It is mixed with other minerals. We need to heat it up and melt it so that we can separate it from the other unwanted substances.

Our relationships with people close to us are the fires which help us to purify our love. Every time we feel hurt, anger, fear, resentment, bitterness, hate, jealousy, disillusionment or any other negative feeling, it is because our love is mixed with expectation, dependency, need, attachment or fear. We believe that our needs are in danger of not being satisfied. When this happens, our “love” turns to hurt, disappointment, fear, loneliness, inferiority, or bitterness, and sometimes, anger, hate, rage and desire for revenge.

How can love become all these negative emotions? It cannot. The simple truth is that our emotion never was pure love to begin with. It was an attraction based to some degree on need, as well as love. This does not mean that we should reject ourselves because we have seldom really loved purely. As we are not yet enlightened spiritual beings, how could we? It would be like rejecting ourselves because we do not yet have a university diploma when we are still in the first grade or because we are a flower bud which has not yet blossomed. It is only natural that we cannot yet love unconditionally. This is our stage of evolution.

The first step towards opening our hearts to real love is to accept and love ourselves exactly as we are with all our weaknesses and faults. Only then can we proceed effectively. In addition, the negative feelings which are generated when we love conditionally are an excellent incentive for us to analyze ourselves and discover what our negative attachment are and get free from them. Then we can love a little more purely. Our gold is now a little purer.

When our love is pure and there is spiritual awareness of our true selves, there can be no suffering. This is the purpose of life — purifying and perfecting our love.

Robert Elias Najemy is author of the recently released book The Psychology of Happiness. His writings can be viewed at where you can also download free articles and e-books.

Twin Universes

The large scale macrocosm of the universe is almost identical to its smallest scale, subatomic parts! You can view a series of photos to explore this reality for yourself, but you will need a computer with Internet access to do it. It is worth the trip to your local library for those without Internet access at home or work. Visit and you will be able to: View the Milky Way at 10 million light years from the Earth. Then move through space towards the Earth in successive orders of magnitude until you reach a tall oak tree just outside the buildings of the National High Magnetic Field Laboratory in Tallahassee, Florida. After that, begin to move from the actual size of a leaf into a microscopic world that reveals leaf cell walls, the cell nucleus, chromatin, DNA and finally, into the subatomic universe of electrons and protons.

Where God Wants Me to Be

Next time your morning seems to be going wrong and the children are slow getting dressed and you can’t seem to find the car keys and you hit every traffic light, don’t get mad or frustrated; thank God instead because God is at work watching over you.

After Sept. 11, I happened to call a man on business that I didn’t know and have not, nor will ever, talk to again. But this day, he felt like talking. He was head of security of a company that had invited the remaining members of a company who had been decimated by the attack on the Twin Towers to share their office space. With his voice full of awe he told me stories of why these people were alive and their counterparts were dead…and all the stories were just “little” things.

As you might know, the head of the company got in late that day because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her alarm clock didn’t go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike because of an auto accident.

One missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One’s car wouldn’t start.

One went back to answer the telephone.

One had a child that dawdled and didn’t get ready as soon as he should have.

One couldn’t get a taxi.

There were other stories that I hope and pray will someday be gathered and put in a book. The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.

Now when I am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone — all the little things that annoy me — I think to myself, this is exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment.

May God continue to bless you with all those annoying little things and may you remember their possible purpose.